Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Playoffs Week One

Time for the second season to begin.

Let's seen if Een can pull a Yaz and win the Triple Crown - Regular Season Pickem, Fantasy and Playoff Pickem. Such a feat would be quite remarkable.

Let's dive into this week's lines:

atlanta (-2) ARIZONA 51
indianapolis (-1) SAN DIEGO 51

baltimore (-3) MIAMI 37
philadelphia (-3) MINNESOTA 42

All the roadies are favored.


Remeber the trend lines from this season:

Favorites 120-128-8
Underdogs 128-120-8

Home Chalk 77-89-6
Road Chalk 42-39-2
Home Dogs 39-42-2
Road Dogs 89-77-6

Homes 116-131-8
Roads 131-116-8

Monday, December 29, 2008

In case you were wondering...

Gentlemen,

Where's my trophy? I mean come on...a DOMINATING victory in Pick 'Em and a Fantasy Football Championship with Payton Manning and a bunch of bottom-of-the-barrel scrubs.

Clearly I'm the most "now" when it comes to the NFL.

Feel free to use the comment box to shower praise upon me.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Here we go again...

Special raise of the (empty) glass to yet another in the long, proud line of University of Cincinnati players and coaches...young, successful Andy Kennedy following in the footsteps of mentor Bob Huggins and former player Art Long by having a "run in" with Cincinnati police...at least he didn't punch the cabbie in the nose (oh wait he did!)

Thata boy Andy...next round's on me...and I'll drive you home too...wouldn't want you to take a cab.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/basketball/ncaa/12/18/kennedy.ap/index.html

Monday, December 8, 2008

XMAS

I guess it's that time again...

What's up with Christmas?
Who's home?
When?

Will Winston be there?

Friday, December 5, 2008

Tee It Up!!

Q: If a punt is in the air while the game clock expires and the receiver signals and makes a fair catch, is the game over?

  • Danny Clark, LB, Giants: "Yes."
  • Madison: "Yes."
  • Damon Huard, QB, Chiefs: "If the punter touched it, then the game is over."
  • Ray Rice, RB, Ravens: "Yes."
  • Pace: "Yes. It's an untimed play, isn't it?
  • Correct answer: No, the receiving team can try a fair-catch kick.


Q: What is a fair-catch kick?

  • Brendon Ayanbadejo, LB, Ravens: "The ball is put on the tee, or maybe there's a holder holding it, but there's nobody covering."
  • Jarret Johnson, LB, Ravens: "You kick from the 50, off the tee. You can cover it. We've gone over it in meetings, but you don't practice it because it's the kicker kicking off a tee."
  • Correct answer: A fair-catch kick is a field goal attempt following a fair catch. It can be a placekick or dropkick, but no tee may be used. It cannot be defensed.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3737653

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Mano-e-Mano

Imagine this:

A hot, dusty high noon on the deserted main street of a wild-west, one horse town somewhere south of the last exit off the Information Super Highway. Folks can find it on the map next to a tiny dot labeled "Yahoo League #273750", but the locals know it by another name: Fantasy City, USA.

As the sun scorches the barren, cracked earth a solitary tumbleweed rolls drunkely down the road, bisecting two stark and dangerous looking men locked in a death stare across the twenty yards and the Week 14 that divides them.

One is tall and lanky, his black leather holster embossed with the name of the deadly weapon it lovingly cradles: "The Romosexuals".

The other, shorter with peircing blue eyes and a reddish beard like steel wool squints as the sun catches the silver star emblazoned on his chest. It reads "WALL*E-on".

A doughy shopkeeper pokes his head, turtle-like, through a crack in the front door of a general store bearing the sign "NatsRedskinsWiz4Life". In a nerve-strangled voice he squeaks, "M'good sirs. Y'all are locked in a tie atop our fair city's standin's. It don't matter a tinker's dam what happens this week. Why can't y'all just agree to a stalemate and let us peaceful folk abide here in the cellar?"

"Man's got point." Says the shorter of the two gunfighters, and he spits in a high arc frightening the shopkeeper back into the doorway.

"I reckon he does" answers the taller. "How you figure we oughtta settle this?"

A long, tense moment passes. You can hear the buzzards ripping the flesh from the "Absentee Ballots" off beyond the edge of town. After years of starvation, it's amazing there's anything but sun-bleached bone left.

"How bout a duel?" The shorter and more handsome of the two offers. "You choose one player and bench the rest. I'll do the same. Mano-e-mano. May the best man win. Makes no difference who comes out on top this week. We're both locked inta a first round bye. Whatcha say?"

Another long mintue passes. You can hear the rusty gears grinding the thought into grist in the tall man's head. He squints against the blazing sun.

"Well? Whataya say, Phil?"

Monday, November 17, 2008

An intriguing possibility...

Gents,

If you take a gander at the standings at the Big East and the ACC, there exists the makings of a great weekend at the end of December.

Currently, UC sits atop the Big East while Florida State is battling for supremacy in the ACC's Atlantic Division. Should the right combination of events occur, they could very well meet in the Meinieke Car Care Bowl in Charlotte, NC at 1PM on December 27th.

Hmmmm...who do I know that is either a college football fan, a UC enthusiast, a Seminole fan, or a new resident of the greater-Charlotte metro area?

Tickets look to start at about $40. Set your mind abrewin' on it.

You Throw Like a Girl

In case anyone was feeling particularly big headed or confident about their athletic abilities, this article should bring you back down to earth. Apparently a 16 year old girl (5' 115 lbs) was drafted by a professional Japanese team because she has a nasty knuckleball. I wonder how the undrafted guys on her high school team feel?

Friday, November 14, 2008

Melrose Place

In case you forgot, hockey is still being played at a professional level in the United States. In fact, on New Year's Day the Friendly Confines will host the Blackhawks and Red Wings (if anyone is interested I'd be willing to explore this more).

But I was deeply troubled when I learned today that Barry Melrose was fired after 14 games as the head coach in Tampa Bay. While I suspect that it was mullet-related, I have to ask: How bad could it have been after only FOURTEEN GAMES!? They were 4-5-1 in their last 10 games. And for those who remember the first Mighty Ducks, that means you're only inches away from being 6-2-1 or 7-3-0. WTF?

As someone who now works in labor relations, I have to say this is ridiculous. What kind of message does this send about job seccurity? Granted, the role of a hockey coach is mystifying to me, but I know that Scotty Bowan was worshipped like a god. What did he do so right and Mr. Party in the Back do so wrong?

Can anyone shed some light on this?

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Goodell? Good God!



So, I think now that we've spent some time in the Roger Goodell era of the NFL, it might be the time to take a look at how it's affected both our favorite team, and the league as a whole. (Dav, I don't want to hear about the 'Skins. Ian, you're excused.)

Tagliabue had gotten a pretty bad rep there at the end, and the league itself, as Bengals fans well know, had devolved into day care for millionaire man-children behaving badly. Drunken boating, smoking pot and screwing around with teenagers, establishing and running vast dog-fighting networks in the greater-Atlanta area, eating only McDonalds in the offseason (I'm looking at you, Ocho-Cinco). These are all things that all of us would love to spend our time doing, but we don't. Because it's not appropriate or even moral. I think it's safe to say we left all that behind in college, right? But not NFL superstars.

So in comes the new sheriff, and while things haven't calmed down entirely, there are certainly less reported incidents. But wait, there's bad news.

The bizarre, off-field antics have been muted somewhat, in favor of odd, totalitarian 1984-esque "the rules are the rules and I reserve the right to change the rules at any time without notice" power plays by the upper-management of the sport. Here's a Deadspin post that goes into it slightly. Everyone gets fined for everything, no one knows what's ok and whats verboten, and Hines Ward gets two fines for normal hits, but NOTHING for a career-threatening shot on Bengals rookie LB Keith Rivers. They say the hit was clean, which I think is debatable.

That isn't the only example, obviously. Justin Tuck, Adrian Wilson, and this bizarre episode that's also chronicled in the Deadspin post, wherein Andrew Whitworth and John Henderson are fined equally for an episode that pretty clearly started and ended with Henderson:



So what's the deal? Have we exchanged an ineffectual doormat of a commissioner with a mad despot who rules the league with all the stability of Kim Jong-Il? Or is this just part of the transition from lawless Mad Max wasteland NFL to an Aldous Huxley sports league?

I'm putting the question to the House. I believe that part of the NFL's appeal is its reputation as the "Wild West" among major sports (sorry, hockey), and Goodell is trying to introduce order into a situation which is always going to reject it. Do you guys think we're going to see major changes? Or is Goodell's entire tenure going to be known as the period of arbitrary fines and confused players taking their frustration out on each other?

Sub-question: Has Goodell helped or hurt the Bengals, or were they always destined to collapse like this?

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

What Type of Fan are You?

I was enjoying one of the perks of Election Day today by ‘voting’ for about 3 hours. So while I was on my way to pick up Johanna for lunch I passed a group of guys that at first glance looked like any other group of businessmen going to a late lunch on the dreary November day. But when I looked a little closer I noticed the guy in the middle was in a full Carolina blue Jordan brand velour jumpsuit. It was Derek Jeter.

I tried my best to keep walking and not openly gawk, but I am not sure I succeeded. He turned the corner and went into Dean and Deluca and once my feet uprooted from the pavement I scurried into Johanna’s office. After I rushed through the pleasantries I told her who I saw and even she was excited. We ran into Dean and Deluca but apparently just missed him, but the guy behind the counter was proudly showing off his autograph and the place was still buzzing. Johanna was disappointed to miss him, but excited for me and put up with me as I recounted every athlete encounter I have ever had.

Then I noticed a curious thing, the office upstairs was all against the glass window looking into the atrium, and every person walking past seemed to be lingering at the table behind us. When we got up to leave we noticed that right behind the pillar we were sitting next to was Jeter himself. Johanna and I walked past him about 3 different times, and watched countless people ask him for an autograph and a picture.

We were satisfied with the sighting, and I am of the belief that unless you are a politician, Hollywood star, or my own personal favorite athlete then I am leaving you alone. I may look and ogle, but I will leave you alone. But not everyone is of this same mind, Mike Hanley is probably the exact opposite. So this raises 2 questions for me:

1: What do you normally do when you see someone famous?
I am “the cool guy/the wuss”. Look at my follow up post to see more on this

2: Who would you approach no matter what?
I say any significant politician (they want to shake hands anyway right), an uberfamous person (Ali, Pitt, Clooney, etc.) or any of my childhood heroes (I would turn into a blubbering mess for Flipper Anderson)

What type of fan are you?

Friday, October 31, 2008

I don't care...I gotta know.

Okay boys,

It's time. I gotta know what you're doing on Tuesday. Did you vote early? Are you planning on standing in line? Mikey, are you also registered under Miguel Hankley? Does Ginny know something the rest of us don't!!??

By my calculations, the Norwood House has pretty substantial pull in this election.

You've got Mikey, Phil, and me (voting absentee...thank you very much transient lifestyle) voting in Ohio. That's 20 electoral votes in a state that is still classified as a toss up in some polls.

Flip's vote in North Carolina could decide 15 electoral votes. Also a toss up state.

And Dave's vote could tip the scale in Virginia (which I think will be much closer than the 6.5 spread Real Clear Politics shows today)and it's 13 electoral votes.

Sorry Matt and Martin, your votes are worthless, unless Obama reveals that he's actually the estraned son of Dick Cheney and Ann Coulter...and even then...

That means that 47 Electoral Votes could swing one way or the other thanks to us!

Which also means we could effectively cancel out any single state (except California) and many other combinations of smaller states (e.g. GA-15, MO-11, ND-3, ID-4, WA-11, and-MT 3).

You don't have to include who you voted for unless you want to, but I'm just curious how this momentus event is impacting my closest frieds.

What is the atmosphere in your neck of the woods? Are you being swamped with commercials? Do you check the polls everyday?

I can tell you that I've never seen so many people with one mindset as I'm seeing up here in Chicagobamaland (or Barack-acago if you prefer). My office is about a five minute walk from where he (and an expected 1,000,000 supporters- seriously) will be on Tuesday night. We only get about one commercial every other day up here. LOTS of Obama wear all over the place. In fact, I've only seen one McCain yard sign, and that was about 25 miles north of downtown in the Indian Hill on steroids neighborhood of Glencoe.

No matter what happens, this has been FASCINATING! What are you seeing?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Week 3: Phil's LPLOTW

Short and sweet this week:

5 games I like (but that I refuse to give lock status):

Friday- Boise State (-7) SAN JOSE STATE (much like the Duke corollary last week, I want to make San Jose St. prove they aren't your older brother's San Jose St.)

OHIO STATE (+2) Penn State (Ohio Stadium creates an exceptional atmosphere at night. Give me the much-talented home team and the points)

KANSAS (-1) Texas Tech (I like Tech in this game, but that's what Vegas wants. Therefore, I'm taking Rock Chalk. Sucker line? Check. Texas Tech looking ahead? Check. Road Game? Check.)

Cincinnati (-2.5) UCONN (I hate UC, but BK can coach. With Pike back, this looks like a nice UC win.)

MIAMI U (-5.5) Kent St. (This line is incredible. It opened at 8 and has moved 2.5 points already. It may settle around 4.5. by kick. Maybe a little (lot) heart pick, but Miami looked rejuvenated behind RFR QB Clay Belton last week. Look for special teams and the run game to lift Miami to a nice TD+ win in front of the Landes family on Homecoming.)

Now to the main event. This week's lock takes us to beautiful Toledo, OH for a MAC West battle.

Central Michigan (-4.5) TOLEDO

Toledo grabbed headlines a couple weeks ago with a huge win in the Big House. What the world hasn't seen is the rest of Toledo's year. Included is a drubbing at No. Illinois, a beatdown to Ball St. and an egg laid at home to Florida International. A very anemic offense will need to keep pace with a CMU attack that features MAC BMOC Dan LeFevour. I see CMU hanging at least 31 without Toledo having enough answers down the stretch. A spirited effort from the Rockets ultimately falls short to one of the finer MAC squads.

Predicted Score:

CMU 35 Toledo 27

Phil's LPLOTW to date:

2-0

Friday, October 17, 2008

Week 2: Phil's LPLOTW

Sorry for the late entry this week, but I've had to spend some extra time going over the lines. As most people know, sometimes there are games that jump off the page. Unfortunately, this was not one of those weeks. Rest easy degenerates, I've still found a game I really like. Before I mention that, I want to highlight some runners-up (some call this hedging my bets, I call it making you more money).

Games I like:

Miami U at BOWLING GREEN: Under 51 - MIA. Miami's abbreviation on television and also an apt description of the RedHawks offense this year.
U Miami -3 DUKE - This is one of those games where you make Duke prove they aren't Duke anymore.
BUFFALO -11.5 Army - The Bulls are pretty good and Army is pretty dreadful.
Pittsburgh (-9.5) CINCINNATI - This feels like a sucker bet, but there's no way I could rationalize betting on a Ryan Fitzpatrick led team against Pitt
Minnesota (+3) CHICAGO -This feels like an AP day and Chicago is coming off a demoralizing loss


Enough with the undercards already. This week's lock takes us to beautiful East Lansing, MI.

Ohio St. (-3) MICHIGAN ST

The Spartans get the proud honor of switching sides in my lock of the week. Rest assured, MSU will be amped, the home crowd will be electric, and this game will be a slug fest. However, the better defense, the better run game, and the better coaching staff reside on the Buckeye sidelines. In an old fashioned (and somewhat antiquated) Big 10 battle of 3 yards and a cloud of dust, I like OSU's combo of Pryor and Wells to make enough plays to get past the human bowling ball (Javon Ringer). Let us not forget in the wake of OSU's humiliation in LA-LA land just how much talent the Buck Nuts have. This is a team that is dominant in conference, has two true difference makers on offense, a solid coach (in Big 10 games at least) and a defense littered with first day draft picks. While my heart is always anti-Buckeye, my head is very pro-Buckeye this weekend.

Predicted Score:

Ohio State 28 Michigan St. 17

Phil's LPLOTW to date:

1-0

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

True. Good point...

Found this at the bottom of Bill Simmon's mail bag:

Q: Shouldn't Elizabeth Perkins have faced statutory rape charges in "Big"?
-- Chuck D., Clifton Park, N.Y.

SG: Absolutely. The rules are explicit here -- if you have consensual sexual relations with anyone not legally old enough to consent to such behavior, it's statutory rape regardless of whether they turned themselves into an adult by making a wish to a Zoltar machine. Perkins' character worked with Josh Baskin (the Tom Hanks character) in New York City when the age of consent was 15 years old. Well, Baskin was only 13 at the time. So there you go.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Speaking of —


As has been stated by both myself and my contemporary E-on, politics has no place inside the Norwood House. But this one was too good to pass up. The man who precipitated the shot clock has made an endorsement. Dean Smith!

Appropriate, since Obama's trying to play a little four corners himself right now.

Possibly the biggest M.O.E. of all time...

Check out what was written in the Op-Ed section of the NY Times this morning. I apoligize for the politics of it (as the Norwood House has no specific political adjenda), but it was too good to pass up.

This one is for you Magister (who is probably watching "First Knight" somewhere at this very moment):


"In high school, I translated swatches of Julius Caesar’s “The Battle for Gaul” from Latin to English while nibbling cheese crackers. To boost the felicitous new trend toward Latin, I enlisted Gary D. Farney, an associate professor of history at Rutgers University, to translate (loosely and creatively) from English to Latin “The Battle of Gall,” my take below on why the hyperventilating Republicans are not veni, vidi, vici-ing.

___________________________________________________
Bellum Gallium

Manes Julii Caesaris paucis diebus aderant — “O, most bloody sight!” — cum Ioannes McCainus, mavericus et veteranus captivusque Belli Francoindosinini, et Sara Palina, barracuda borealis, qui sneerare amant Baracum Obamam causa oratorii, pillorant ut demagogi veri, Africanum-Americanum senatorem Terrae Lincolni, ad Republicanas rallias.

Rabidi subcanes candidati, pretendant “no orator as Brutis is,” ut “stir men’s blood” et disturbant mentes populi ad “a sudden flood of mutiny,” ut Wilhelmus Shakespearus scripsit.

Cum Quirites Americani ad rallias Republicanas audiunt nomen Baraci Husseini Obamae, clamant “Mortem!” “Amator terroris!” “Socialiste!” “Bomba Obamam!” “Obama est Arabus!” “Caput excidi!” tempus sit rabble-rouseribus desistere “Smear Talk Express,” ut Stephanus Colbertus dixit. Obama demonatus est tamquam Musulmanus-Manchurianus candidatus — civis “collo-cerviciliaris” ad ralliam Floridianam Palinae exhabet mascum Obamae ut Luciferis.

Obama non queretur high-tech lynching. Sed secreto-serventes agentes nervosissmi sunt.

Vix quisque audivit nomen “Palinae” ante lunibus paucis. Surgivit ex suo tanning bed ad silvas in Terram Eskimorum, rogans quis sit traitorosus, ominosus, scurrilosus, periculosus amator LXs terroris criminalisque Chicagoani? Tu betchus!

“Caeca ambitio Obamana,” novum rumorem Palina McCainusque dixit. “Cum utilis, Obama laborat cum amatore terroris Wilhelmo Ayro. Cum putatus, perjuravit.” McCainianus bossus maximus Francus Keatinx vocat Obamam, “plebeium,” et ut iuvenum snifferendum cocaini minimi (“a little blow.”)

Cum Primus Dudus, spousus Palinanus, culpari attemptaret “Centurionem-Gate,” judices Terrae Santae Elvorumque castigat gubernatricem Palinam de abusu auctoritatis per familiam revengendum.

Tamen Sara et Ioannes bury Obama, not praise him. Maverici, ut capiunt auxilium de friga-domina, hench-femina, Cynthia McCaina Birrabaronessa, (quae culpat Obamam periculandi suum filum in Babylonia), brazen-iter distractant mentes populares de minimissimis IV 0 I K.ibus, deminutione “Motorum Omnium,” et Depressione Magna II.0. Omnes de Georgio Busio Secundo colossale goofballo. “V” (because there’s no W. in Latin) etiam duxit per disastrum ad gymnasium.

Gubernatrix (prope Russia) Palina, spectans candidaciam MMXII, post multam educationem cum Kissingro et post multam parodiam de Sabbatis Nocte Vivo atque de Tina Feia, ferociter vituperat Obamam, ut supralupocidit (aerial shooting of wolves) in Hyperborea.

Vilmingtoni, in Ohionem, McCain’s Mean Girl (Ferox Puella) defendit se gladiatricem politicam esse: “Pauci dicant, O Jupiter, te negativam esse. Non, negativa non sum, sed verissima.” Talk about lipsticka in porcam! Quasi Leeus Atwater de oppugnatione Busii Primi ad Dukakem: “non negativus, sed comparativus.”
_________________________________________________________________
Where is Don Norvell when you really need him?

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Sad State of Affairs

What happened to us?
Where did we lose our way?
At what point in our lives did we abandon our principles?
When did we turn from being pure sports fans to needing something more?

I am talking about our fantasy sports leagues. They have become an embarrassment. I am almost ashamed to be the commish. This is the 3rd week in a row that I have played someone with at least 1 player on a bye or injured in the starting lineup. Hopefully I will make it my 3rd winning week to bring my overall record to 3-3, but I feel dirty, unsatisfied, dejected. Why? My fantasy football team is, in the words of Charles Barkley, terrible; and I am in the hunt for the payoffs instead of being woefully in the basement like our beloved Bungles. Everyone should be making fun of Hampton and me for drafting one of the worst fantasy teams in recent memories, but do any of us even know?

Our Fantasy Baseball season was a joke. Dave and I tied for 1st place (somehow they gave the championship to Dave even though I held all the tiebreakers) but I bet he doesn't even know. Because if he did he wouldn't have started Todd Jones during the playoffs since he was on the DL. Even worse, Chris Martin got 3rd narrowly beating Hanley, and they had a combined 3 people on the DL in their starting lineups and Hanley had an empty position for the last 10 weeks of the season.

We used to be about the thrill of the competition
We used to take satisfaction in crushing players like Moe and Tyler Martin since they knew lesss than us (Moe's Tavern is #1, no offense Dad)
We used to have multiple trades every week.
We used to nearly get into fights over the bad trades offered and accepted
we used to hold winter meetings,
we used to hold amazing contempt for people like the Cougars
We used to change our names weekly
we used to care,
we used to be men.

So I implore you, men of TNH, before our once proud Fantasy Football heritage goes the way of our fantasy baseball league we must regain our enthusiasm, our competitiveness, our manhood.

Men we must regain ourselves.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Who Knew?

That ole Brady Quinn is a McCainiac.



I guess Brady knows a bit about supporting a cause with little shot of succeeding. He is, after all, an Irish football alum.

Introducing Phil's LPLOTW

Maybe 6 weeks too late, but whatever. I love betting lines and I'm fascinated by how damn accurate they are. In that spirit, I want to start the hunt for one football line (ATS or O/U) each week, college or pro, that I shall dub my ever-original Lead Pipe Lock of the Week. Please feel free to throw your LPLOTW out as well. My goal is ideally to hit at 100% (otherwise this whole exercise becomes a bit of a misnomer), but inreality, that won't happen. Therefore, I shall state my goal at 67%. So for you degenerates, throw the same amount of money on my pick each week and I'll make your pockets a little heavier by winter's end.



Without further delay, my first lock takes us to Evanston, Ill.

Michigan St. (-1) NORTHWESTERN

I love a feel good story in the land of BCS, and make no mistake, the NW story is excellent. However, they have been getting it done with a little bit of smoke and mirrors (and a pretty bad schedule). They come in ranked in the Top 25. Ranked also are the Spartans of East Lansing, coming in riding a 4 game winning streak after an opening season loss at Cal.

Why I like the Spartans?

In a word, their physicality (is that a word?) They have a tough defense, a tough running game, and they are far more battle tested than NW. I think this line is a bit low based on MSU's struggles with Iowa last week (one common opponent), but if anything it should serve as a motivator for the Big 10's 3rd (sorry Wisconsin) best team. Look for the run game to find enough holes and the defense to make enough big plays to squash the Wildcats' dreams of 1995.

Prediction:

Michigan State 27
Northwestern 21

Phil's LPLOTW:

0-0

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Happy Birthday TNH!



What a year it has been!

Friday, October 3, 2008

More Civic Duty

Make sure you know the truth:

www.factcheck.org

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Your civic duty

Gentlemen,

Make sure you're registered to vote.

www.voteforchange.com

Enough said.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Umm, for serious?

Lane Kiffin is awesome. Fast forward to about the 1-minute mark.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Merkle's Boner




Very rarely in sports does one have the opportunity to celebrate a centennial. Today, September 23, 2008 is the one-hundred year anniversary of Fred Merkle's bonehead play (boner, get it?) that cost his New York Giants the 1908 National League pennant. This story is ingrained in my childhood. For my sixth birthday, my mom bought me a hardcover book Baseball Players do Amazing Things. I read it literally once a week. I could probably recite the section on Merkle and his boner from memory.

In September of 1908, the Chicago Cubs, New York Giants and Pittsburgh Pirates were in a heated race for the National League Pennant.

[Side Note: The Cubbies were led by their one-two combo of 'Big' Ed Reullbach (24-7, 7 Shutouts) and Mordecai 'Three Finger' Brown (29-9, 9 shutouts). On September 26th, with the Cubbies holding on to a tenuous 1/2 game lead, the Cubs sent Big Ed to start the first game of a double header. Apparently player-manager Frank Chance couldn't find his pitch counter, as Big Ed never left the mound, pitching back-to-back Complete Game Shutouts. I think it is fair to say that this record will never be broken]

On September 23, the Cubs met the Giants at the Polo Grounds. In the bottom of the 9th, with the score tied at 1, Fred Merkle singled and moved teammate Moose McCormick to third on the play. Al Bridwell came to the plate, first and third, two outs. Bridwell smacked a shallow single in center and McCormick came home with the winning run. Bedlam ensues. The Giant fans, held back by just a rope in some places, storm the field. Merkle meets Bridwell at first base and celebrates with him.

Cubbies second baseman Johnny Evers noticed that Merkle never tagged second and that the force play was still in effect. Here's where it gets hairy. Newspaper accounts claim that the Giants skipper saw what Evers was up to and tossed the game ball into the stands. Evers ran up into the stands, found a baseball (no one will ever know if it was the right one), grabbed the umpire and stepped on second base. After some cajoling, Hank O' Day agreed that it was a force and the inning was over. Since they could not get the Polo Grounds faithful off the field, they called the game a tie and agreed to make it up on the last day of the season.

The Giants and Cubs finished the season tied at 98-55, with the Pirates a half game behind. The make up game had to be played. Needless to say, the Cubs won and went on to beat the Tigers to continue the Cub dynasty. At that point, they had won three straight NL pennants and two of the first five World Series.

As old as it gets, Merkle's boner stands firm against the test of time. Maybe he should see a doctor about that...

Tribune
MLB

You should probably just take the day off...

Gentlemen,

I believe today is a day for celebration. We stand at the brink of history, and from this day move forward as a vanguard into a time uncharted in the annals of the human experience. Never before have we found ourselves staring straight into the gaping maw of novelty as we are at this moment. Precedent, you have no place here.

Mark "Moe" Anderson is the sole owner of first place in Fantasy Football.

Let it ring from the hilltops. From Mt. Carmel to Mt. Airy. From Mt. Adams to Mt. Healthy.

All Hail Moe's Tavern and the Moester Coaster. King of the world...at least for a week.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Reds or Bengals, Who ya Got?

I recently read this article by Rick Reilly and found it fascinating. The premise is if every multiple sport city had to choose only one team to stay, who would they pick. Some are obvious like Hockey for Detroit and the Yankees for NYC. Some are controversial like the Bears for Chicago, sorry Mike, or the Ravens in Baltimore. But all in all it is a good read and is interesting to think about.

However he does not list Cincinnati.

So I put it to the great minds of TNH, what team stays in Cincy, the Reds or the Bengals?

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I think he's my muse.



I'd just like to use this space to announce that my first non-fiction novel (a term coined by Truman Capote) will be about the life and times of one Edward Hochuli.

He's the most interesting man in the world those Mexican Beer commercials are talking about.

Lawyer, who works out religiously, listens to crazy ass techno music, and is a football referee who tragically fucked up a call in a basically meaningless game (assuming the division doesn't come down to one game) and is so tortured about it that he's ANSWERING ALL OF THE HATE MAIL HE RECEIVED! With personal apologies!

It's going to be like "In Cold Blood" except I will take longer to kill myself with alcoholism.

*photo courtesy of the Onion short "Ed Hochuli First Down Signal Decapitates Player."

Monday, September 15, 2008

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Too soon?


Boys,


Just wanted to be "Badanian" and develop a little nice conversation on here. As you know, my IRISH beat the hapless Wolverines today convincingly. 6 turnovers and playing in the remnants of Hurricane Ike made it easier for the Irish to gain a lead and keep it, but they did win big.


So the question is posed...was this week a bad Michigan team or have the Irish turned the corner on last years 3 win campaign? Clausen looks good, they have speed at WR, a nice combo in the backfield and the OL is much improved. The defense is like the Bengals of '05...bend, don't break, and very opportunistic.


Special Teams: Mike Anello. Dav, you can do the story on him.


thoughts?


Go Irish.


Friday, August 29, 2008

Chad 1, NFL 0.



So, according to some published reports, 85 is now Chad Ocho Cinco, nee Johnson.

According to Miami radio station 790 The Ticket, which is in Johnson's hometown, the receiver has legally changed his last name to "Ocho Cinco." Johnson's -- sorry -- Ocho Cinco's reported name change has been rumored in NFL circles for weeks, and according to the station today, it's official.


Personally, his antics have grown stale if he can't hold onto the ball on a downfield pass, but I still think this is hilarious.
I just can't wait to see how the broadcasters deal with this. It won't be fall to me until I hear Phil Simms or Greg Gumbel say "Ocho Cinco gets both feet down in the corner of the endzone!"

So, it won't be fall this year until mid-November, probably.

UPDATE: Here's a link to Chad's new Wikipedia page. Brilliant

Friday, August 22, 2008

He Got Game?



Ok, let's take a minute and break down these poses.

On the left, naturally, we have Sen. Barack Obama, of Illinois, an avowed South-Sider and Bears fan (apparently) who seems to have a better grip on the ball than either of his team's potential starting quarterbacks. However, I'd be willing to bet Orton's got him when it comes to Neck-Beard ability, and Grossman is probably a bigger douche.
Ball's got no laces, though, so it's probably a tough spiral.

Now let's look to the right side of the page.

Senator, it's a football, not an urn with your mother in it. Who in the campaign was unwilling to tell this guy to drop a shoulder like he did in the backyard? Seriously, the man looks like he's presenting that thing for a Showcase Showdown on the Price Is Right.

As I'm sure you're all aware, I was really waffling on my choice this election, but now my choice is clear. That is all.

Friday, August 15, 2008

I Don't Care

I don't care if Michael Vick didn't really throw balls out of the stadium or if LeBron didn't nail 85 footers with regularity or if Kobe didn't jump over that car...




This is freaking sweet. It looks so realistic, though I'm sure Ham or Eon will claim they could put this together with 30 minutes on Apple's Final Cut Pro.

Give props to Reebok for a fantastic viral marketing campaign.

Monday, August 11, 2008

A Critical Analysis

Gentlemen,

Late summer is once again upon us. Dog days of heat, humidity, and the ad nauseum triviality of sportswriters at training camp lead each of us to marvel that snow and ice ever existed, or might ever exist again. And thus the time of Fantasy Football is neigh. As this pre-autumnal occasion looms, each one of us is confronted with the Herculean task of choosing a moniker for his respective squad. Sure, we'd like to say that we fill that little box with whatever passing fancy brilliantly streaks across our consciousness in the spur of that moment. But that would be a lie.

For within every player spins a frantic machine; quietly, doggedly attempting the evasive calculus that seems to whisper..."Well, even if I finish seventh, at least my team's name was thoughtful, whimsical, and offered an irrefutable glimpse of my rapier wit. At least I'll have that."

And so, in a way, in a very small way, the Fantasy Football champion is crowned even before the draft order is set.

So let's take a look back, into the storied annals of Mariemont Fantasy Football Team Names, to find the ultimate champion whose name shall echo forever across the infinite span of the internet.

Firstly, a short analysis of team names from the 2002-2007 seasons.

Of the 40 names chosen since 2002:
  • 12.5% were some form of inside joke (e.g. "The Boxcar Children", Frank 2002 or "D.O.L.O., Anderson 2005)
  • 20% reference some kind of timely pop culture reference or were generally topical (eg. "Bad Newz Kennels", Badanes 2007)
  • 20% related to the geographical location of the player (e.g. "Hampshire 23-Skidoo", Hampton 2002 or "Lucky in Kentucky" Frank, 2005)
  • 22.5% lent support of one kind or another to a specific team (e.g. "In Marvin I Trust", Landes 2005 or "Quinn to Samardzjia", Hanley 2006)
  • 30% seemed to fit no sort of trend, or follow any logic know to me ("Ridge's Code Red Zone", Badanes 2004 or "Chargin Chargers", Anderson 2003)
Some names even managed to span two discreet categories (e.g. "WM Bungals", Hanley 2002 or "Norfolk Mudbloods", Martin 2005).

It should be noted that there seems to be no statistical trend between team names and team success. However, longer seems to be better as the eventual champion since 2002 has contained at least 14 letters 4 out of 6 times.

With that fundamental understanding in mind, let us move on to the award for BEST FANTASY FOOTBALL NAME OF THE 21st CENTURY.

2nd RUNNER UP is........... "The Boxcar Children", Frank 2002

Analysis: I picked this name not because of it's connection to Roger Maris Jr's home in St. Augustine, but because I actually drafted this team to coincide with the strengths and weaknesses of each Boxcar Child. For example Tiki Barber was Henry Alden, oldest of the Boxcar Children and their leader. Violet Alden was represented in the Miami defense, because I envisioned them as pre-pubescent girls.

1 st RUNNER UP is..............."Reception No Shows", Martin 2007

Analysis: Clearly it took Chris a while to figure out how to squeeze his most infamous moment into the allowable letter allotment. "Groom - Appendix = Unforgettable Evening"?...nope. "Lower Gastro-Intestinal Inflamation"?....uh uh. Thanks for taking the time on the bridge to get this one right Chris, even if it briefly endanger a multi-billion dollar piece of taxpayer hardware!

The ULTIMATE CHAMPION is........... "Mom's Basement", Hanley 2008

Analysis: This stroke of pure genius operates on so many gently shaded intellectual levels. It truly warms the cockles and sub-cockles of my heart. Here's why:

  • First, there is the subtle nod to the class act "Mo's Tavern", winner of the first ever Iron Horse Award for Continuous and Contiguous Service
  • Second, it conjures up a wonderful image. Michael in his fortress of solitude, precisely equidistant from both the Bell Tower and Wendy's.
  • At finally, there is the blatant self-deprecation that worked so well for Chris Martin in the past (" ShortDoggs", 2002 and "American Not Idol", 2004). But how it has been taken to a new and spectacular level.
I tip my up-turned finger tips at the poker table of your genius. Well played, sir. Well played.

As a parting thought, here are my predictions based entirely on the trends of the past for the 2009 season's names:

Mikey: howiwishtheybrokethecurse
Flip: Ned Ryerson?!?!
Phil: "Uncy Phil"
Dave: (Insert headline from cnn.com)
Hampton: The Q-Chron-ic
Martin: Skyline Time (sung with open palm split extension)
Ian: Tony Award Winner

Night fellas.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The Windy City



As I was in Chicago for a conference, I decided to take in a baseball game at the Friendly Confines. Finding great seats and a pair of Old Styles, a colleague and I sat in for a perfect summer evening contest. I called E-on, and he warned, "Hey, you might want to watch out, there's a bad storm arriving in an hour." Literally 59 minutes later, the grounds crew came out and covered the field. What happens next was legendary. Universally agreed as the worst storm to hit Wrigley since Lucky Charlie Weegham broke ground on the park in February 1914. Enjoy the above video for a taste of the terror.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Brett Favre is a Giant Douche

Seriously, it is one thing to be that guy who holds on too long and eventually has to go play for the Chiefs or Tampa Bay, but what Brett Favre is doing is completely rediculous. If you retire, retire. If you want to keep playing, keep playing. But if you don't know what you want to do, wait until the off season is well underway before making an announcement. The number of athletes who retire after the season, but then after an offseason to recover and watching all the guys start to return to camp they can't stay away. I understand that it is tough to let go, I still play soccer and have been known to get in some verbal spats, but to flip flop so much is crazy.

The worst part of this whole thing is Favre has the potential to screw over the Packers for the forseeable future just one season after he made them into a young contender poised to be a great team for years to come. How? If he actually plays he will probably win the starting job, because right now he is actually the best QB. But next year he will really be done, and retire into the night and leave the Pack High and dry.

Aaron Rodgers is in he last year of his deal and the Packers will have to pay a pretty high price for a QB who has never played, or he will leave because he feels betrayed after all the false starting opportunities. They will go directly from having 2 good options to 0 good options and end up like the Bears.

Another possibility is that Favre and the Pack play so well that all the young talent have false numbers in another big year because of Favre's added production. So when he leaves and all those young players clamor for a big deal (I'm looking at you Ryan Grabt) the Packers will not be able to afford them and they will lose their new players.

I love Favre, but its time to move on, and every day this whole thing goes on he loses just a little more of his luster.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Fantasy Football

After a poor attempt at fantasy baseball this season (other than a select few) we all need to rededicate ourselves to fantasy football. Dav I expect Dave's fantasy pickem to be back in full force and for our season to be even more exciting and unpredictable than Bret Favre's text messages!

so here is the login info:

yahoo fantasy sports

League ID#: 273750
Password: mariemont

I have sent invitations to Ian, Phil, Dave, Mike, Martin, Myself, Moester, TQ, Lynch, and Hampton. If you think anyone else should be in the game reply to this post and I will make sure they get the info.

Who Dey

Monday, July 21, 2008

Uh Oh.


"I cannot stand the Buckeyes. ... It's amazing to hear what those guys think about that university and what they think about that football program and Tressel and all the crap I gotta put up with being back there."

D'oh!
So who's the face of the team now? Nobody can stand 85, Carson has maligned the Bucks and T.J. is a secret muslim (he was educated in an Indonesian madrassa! That may have been someone else).

Run, that knee's got to feel better by now, boy, run!

Do we think this is all that damaging? I think it is if they keep losing.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Flip Stickin' It



Flip goes pin seeking at the Pit.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

U-G-G-L-A, You Ain't Got No Alibi.



So we all presumably have seen this guy's line by now:
0-4 3K's, GIDP, 3 ERR. He also left a whopping 6(!!) men on base, most in the game, and double what anyone else in the NL did.

His 3 K's put him in good company: other members of the Silver Sombrero club in the summer classic are Johnny Bench, Lou Gehrig, Mickey Mantle (whose only other plate appearance was a HR) and Willie McCovey, among others. The closest of those to Uggla's performance is probably Gehrig, who also committed an error, but he at least scored a run.
Roberto Clemente had the only Golden Sombrero in the history of the game (but it happened in the other 15 inning game in 1967, and he played the whole game [6 AB's, 1 hit, so really, it's only a technical Golden Sombrero]— while Uggla came in in the 6th)

But none of those guys completely booted every ball that was hit their way. Between he and Hanley Ramirez I'm surprised they both remembered to bring their gloves.

Is that the worst night ever? Yeah. It is. It's the worst for a position player, anyway. In fairness, that last error was borderline (but I think Utley makes that play)

This fella here:


Gave up 7 earned runs in the Year of Our Lord 1983 (in one inning of work, no less), but that's deceptive because he was also victimized by the first Grand Slam in the history of the game, and he didn't even get the loss (Mario Soto). I'm curious how he stays in the game for long enough to give it up, frankly.


Truthfully, I was worried everyone was going to be talking about the bloop homer Voltron gave up, but Wagner and Uggla took care of that. A ball was bound to leave, it just so happened that he was the unlucky guy and grooved the wrong pitch.

Show of hands, who among you were actually awake when Justin Morneaughxbdfn crossed the plate?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

A New Asterisks for MLB

The Josh Hamilton fairy-tale is obviously one of the most talked about stories of the first half of this MLB season. A former first pick that was out of the game for 3 years taking the American League and Major League Baseball by storm in his first full season back in the Majors has to make sports writers everywhere giddy with the possibilities. And on top of the incredible RBI pace, and the all-star selection, the 28 home runs traveling an average of over 450 feet in 1 round of the Derby is just another chapter in this amazing story. When the capacity crowd at Yankee stadium started to cheer his name I literally got chills. But is he really a positive role model?

Hamilton missed three years not because he was serving our country like the greats of WWII and the Korean War, not because he was coming back from some horrific injury or disease like paralysis or cancer, and not because of some injustice from the league or the government, but because he was a drug addict. I know when he was out of the game he had no formal training regiment, and the only batting practice he did was by feeding quarters into a cage at the local sports club, and I am not trying to diminish his accomplishment, it is amazing, but that doesn’t make him a role model for everyone. And his recovery and return to grace is a great story, and must be written and told throughout the US and the world as an example of what perseverance can do, and that no matter what your current situation, you have the ability to be great.

However, the way in which this story is told is just as important as the story itself. The important lesson is that he came back and became what he should have been all along, and if he hadn’t succumbed to addiction just imagine what he could have accomplished. Many of the stories and broadcasts from the past months are ready to coronate Hamilton as the next face of MLB. But many of them fall short of explaining the full lesson here.

It is not okay to lose 3 years of your life to drugs and alcohol.

We cannot teach our children that being a druggie and a slacker is ok as long as you eventually come out of it. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with Josh Hamilton, I think he is a great example of what a person should do if they find themselves overcome with drugs and alcohol. My problem is with the media who is so ready for a positive role model to take over from the steroids era that they will take anyone who comes along. What about the real winner last night Justin Morneau, or David Wright, or Chase Utley, or any other guy who has done it the right way?

Every person, young or old, who has or will ever suffer from addiction problems, can use Hamilton as a positive example of what can happen when you commit yourself to sobriety. It proves the resiliency of the human spirit that you can come back from the depths and achieve your greatest potential. I sincerely hope that this is not an anomaly, and that Josh Hamilton will continue to become one the great ball players of this generation, but we must be careful to put these lessons in the proper context. I never want my child to grow up like Josh Hamilton.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Sorry Hanley

so I saw this video on youtube and I couldn't help myself. I particularly like the "BC has better Christians" comment.... Enjoy.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Only Game Played at the World Series

Quick hat-tip to the blogging by my college buddy John on his poker blog. John finished 18th in last year's WSOP Main Event. He has over a half million in tournament winnings. He's starting Day 2B of the M.E. in just a few minutes.

"Key Hand #5: Level 3, 150-300
I think if I had to pick, this would go down as "hand of the day" yesterday (although there are some other candidates coming). So for this hand, we need to reflect on Barbara Enright and what we'll just call "solid poker player". She's plenty smart enough to put someone else on a huge hand and lay down a big hand if bets are laid out in a PERFECT manner. Trust me, one miss step and any seasoned player will see right through your bluff and crush you (I know, I feel like I make huge calls with marginal hands when playing at the Commerce in L.A. because bad players make bluffs that just don't make sense...and if it doesn't make sense, it actually becomes an easy call despite how big the bet might be). Anyway, I'm in the BB and she's on the button. I'm dealt JJ, which I'm excited about, but there is a limper from EP, then Barbara makes her biggest preflop raise of the day up to 1,800. At this point, it is screaming KK or AA, so my J's look no good, right? Well, I follow my 10x rule, see that she has plenty of chips to make my call worth the potential, so I smooth call. The EP raiser folds. So my logic is at this point, I know she has AA or KK, so let's see if I can either spike a J on the flop or represent something and take the hand away from her. The flop comes out a BEAUTIFUL 7, 6, 5. You might be thinking at home, "why is that a good thing for you John??" Well, think about it from her perspective. What types of hands would I be playing? If she pegs me as a solid player, I'd actually lay down AQ or AJ quite easily to her preflop bet. The only hands I'm going to call with would be pocket pairs... so I just might have 7's , 6's or 5's...or even 8's or 4's would be a decent hand given this board. So there are 5 hands I might have that might have her either crushed or worried. Another key component of this hand is "how would I play a set if I had a set..." Rookies will often slow play sets waiting for their opponents to bet. I believe it is better to actually lead out with them hoping to score a major pot. Anyway, I'm first to act and I do indeed bet $2,000 into the $4,000 chip pot. She min-raises to $4,000. I smooth call to set her up for a bigger score. The turn comes a 4...even more perfect! Now I could conceivably any pocket pair from 8's to 4's would have her A's or K's crushed! I mock some frustration/fear and check...she fires 4k into the 10k pot (she has about 14k behind). Without hesitation, I reraise her 14k! Doyle Brunson once said, the key to NL Hold 'em is to putting a player into a difficult choice for all their chips. Barbara can either call my bet and risk going home, or she can assume what is somewhat reasonable that I have one of those pocket pairs, make the "big laydown" and live to play some more. There was very, very, very little doubt that she'd fold. Anyway, she thought for a few minutes and finally muttered under her breath "making such big laydowns...geez!"... I later heard her whisper to a friend that she did, indeed fold AA here. Anyway, when all added up, I stole 10k of her stack for free! Woohoo! Teachable conclusion: Sometimes it is easier to bluff a good player because they are "smart enough" to put you on that huge hand. Just be careful, because if any part of the bet does not make sense, they'll see right through it."



For anyone interested in NL Tournament Hold 'Em strategy, I hold this blog in as high regard as Doyle's Super System II.

Ambidextrawesomeness



What happens when a switch handed pitcher meets a switch hitter? Hilarity ensues. Seriously, there needs to be a rule about who has the 'last say' over from which side of the plate or mound the action will ensue. A rule that is uniform and transparent. Like this.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Duke's Day in Court



Five years ago, Duke and Louisville entered into a contract to play four football games together over the next decade. After a 40-3 drubbing in September 2002, the Duke Athletic Department decided to renege on the deal, canceling the last three games. Part of the contract called for either team to pay a penalty of $150K per game if a "team of similar stature" could not be found to fill the date. Louisville sued Duke for $450K plus any and all applicable ancillary costs.

The trial hinged on the meaning of a "team of similar stature". In my opinion, a top-tier program like Louisville schedules a Duke to be a cupcake on their relatively hard Big East slate. Duke however, made the opposite argument. They stated that since the program is 6-45 over the past five years, literally any team in Division 1 would be a "team of similar stature". After arguments from the Duke lawyers laying the case that its team was the worst program in Division 1, the judge agreed:

"At oral argument, Duke (with a candor perhaps more attributable to good legal strategy than to institutional modesty) persuasively asserted that this is a threshold that could not be any lower. Duke's argument on this point cannot be reasonably disputed by Louisville."

Say what you will (and we can) about the big money issues of college football scheduling, I find it hilarious that Duke went to court to prove that their football team is horrible. I would love to see the transcript on this one.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=3455278

Monday, June 2, 2008

W.W.W.D.




Raise your case in honor of Chris on his bachelor party weekend. Here's to you buddy.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

For what it's worth...

Congrats Flip and Mikey!

Brentsville made Newsweek's list of the top 1300 high schools in America.

It was 684.

Interestingly enough, Mariemont was left off that list. Even more interestingly Glen Este made the cut. GLEN ESTE! Remember, it was were you had to play basketball on that linoleum floor in their cafeteria. It wasn't even a cafenasium OR a gymatorium. It was just the cafeteria!

I expect you to do something about this Michael.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Mr. Red Took a Great Fall



I am fascinated by mascots. They are inherently funny. I love this video.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Michael's "To Do" List

I have taken it upon myself to speak for the entire Norwood House and start our list of required actions that Mikey must take now that he is moving back to Cincinnati. They are (in no particular order):

1) Purchase a Larosa's Pizza Buddy Card from the Mariemont Booster Association

2) Order "Juice, Toast, and Clem" at least once a week from the Village Kitchen, just to keep Angie on her toes. Bring Phil who shall take up Dave's mantle and order a completely different meal on each visit.

3) When Chris Martin get there, eat at Skyline once a week. Make Martin pay...and buy you a Cross-Town Shootout commemorative basketball.

4) Acquire a key to the Mariemont Elementary School Gymnasium in case we want to play on Saturday morning.

5) Make one bi-weekly trip to Kenwood Towne Centre, but then decide not to buy anything and go home empty handed. Park in the Parisian garage.

Those are my five demands. It is up to you, members of the Norwood House, to continue this list.

Have at it.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Jocketty > Krivsky?

Question 1:

Anyone else surprised by this? I hope Krivsky was not. Nothing says "hey pal, you're on the hot seat" like hiring a "special adviser" in the off-season. Especially one whose track record far exceeds your own. The only way WK could have kept his job is for the Reds to be 17-4 at this point. Personally, I think it was getting swept by the Pirates that did it.

Question 2:

Will it make a difference this season? The Reds have a lot of money invested in the team that's on the field right now. Not many moves to make, unless he starts shipping out some big names and eating a ton of payroll.

Question 3:

Time to panic? I say no. We all knew there was a chance that this season was a setup for next year.

Thoughts?

ps. Bronson Arroyo...yikes!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Friday, April 18, 2008

AccuScorn

So, reading tonight's preview of the Reds-Brewers match-up, I took a gander at ESPN's "accuscore" projection, which said that we were 51-49 percentage point favorites, which is essentially a wash, but I couldn't help but think that it made absolutely no sense to call us the favorites.

Much as I want to assume the Reds will always win, the pitching match-up is Ben Sheets (2-0, 1.17 ERA) against Arroyo (0-1, 5.17 ERA).

Going beyond the bare numbers, since we all agree that wins and ERA are augurs of a false baseball god, Sheets has been on a roll this season (20 K's, 0.70 WHIP in 3 starts) while Arroyo has struggled not-so mightily, and had trouble getting very far into games. For now, I'll assume that the bats are roughly equal since both sides have had bumpy seas and struggling stars on the offensive end (I'm looking at YOU Prince Fielder, supposed anchor of my fantasy offense).

My question is, what makes this accuscore machine so accurate. I couldn't find any numbers about its average success rate on the Web site, so why is this damn thing even there if not an effort to cross-pollinate a little Bodog traffic?

Accuscore belongs with "Who's More Now?" in the annals of ESPN crap that needs to be shown the door.

It is now 5:30, and I have successfully killed the last 15 minutes of my work day. Later.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

KB24 4 MVP



I know this has been circulating on the internets, but I had to post it here in case anyone hasn't seen it yet. I'm fascinated by this video. I've heard that it is fake, but impressive none-the-less. And, I'm convinced that he could actually do it. The action is at the 34 second mark.

This on the other hand, is completely real:

Pope-a-palooza



So the Pope walks into Nationals Stadium...

According to the Washington Post, the pontiff used Nats Manager Manny Acta's private office as his dressing room. 'Us' Nats fans hopes he stops to bless the team's clubhouse. 'We' need all the help we can get.

Sorry Mike




In honor of Soriano's latest malady, here's a link to some of the most unusual Cubs injuries of all time.

Friday, April 11, 2008

In Honor of His Start Tonight...

Enjoy this tidbit from Edinson Volquez's wikipedia page.

Edinson Volquez [VOL-kays] (born July 3, 1983 in La Segunua, Dominican Republic) , nicknamed "Voltron", is a starting pitcher in Major League Baseball for the Cincinnati Reds.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Also, Snoop Dogg Wrote A Song About It...

For the first time in, I believe, the history of the network, three of the 10 top stories on ESPN.com this morning were about Cincinnati sports. Obviously, Web sites do not have Nielson ratings.


Bengals' Henry surrenders to face assault charge


Agitated Ocho Cinco not the Bengals' problem



Encarnacion HR gives Baker first Reds victory


Also, are we 100 percent certain that Chris Henry knows anyone old enough to drink? Because every time he gets arrested he's like, rolling blunts for 8-year-olds or humping kittens or something.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Competitive Imbalance

Let's categorize this one under depressing for most small and mid market baseball teams.

A-Rod is paid more than the entire Florida Marlins roster.

This is unbelievable. A-Rod will make $28M this season, the 33 player Florida Marlins? $21.8M. The average salary in the bigs just passed $3M, yet the Marlins do not have a single player that makes the AVERAGE.

Revenue sharing and a hard cap is what has made the NFL the dominant American sports league. Greater revenue sharing and a minimum salary floor is what's necessary to fix MLB.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

6 months of heartache

Gentlemen,

The season is upon us. Let me hear your predictions for the 2008 MLB season. I'll go first...guess who wins it all??

NL:
East: Mets (Santana wins 20, Wright and Reyes lead the way)
Central: Cubs (Zambrano wins 20, Wood is a dominant closer and Fukudome becomes my new favorite player)
West: Dodgers (Pitching and Torre)
Wild Card: D-Backs (Haren and Webb)

**Redlegs: 86-76 good for a 2nd place finish 3 games behind the Cubs and 1 game behind the D-Backs (Bruce and Votto lead the way, Dunn hits 45 bombs and is almost traded midseason and Johnny Cueto finishes 2nd in ROY voting going 14-7 with sub 4 ERA)

Cy Young: Santana
Hitting Title: Holliday
HR: Howard
MVP: David Wright
ROY: Kosuke Fukudome

AL:
East: Red Sox (spit on the gloves, slap the hands)
Central: Tigers (Miggy does it all)
West: Seattle (Best pitching in weak division)
Wild Card: Indians (finally the Yanks don't make the postseason)

Cy Young: CC Sabathia
Hitting Title: Miguel Cabrera
HR Title: David Ortiz
MVP: Miguel Cabrera
ROY: Jacob Ellsbury

NL: Cubs over Dodgers, Mets over D-Backs, Cubs over Mets in 7
AL: Red Sox over Indians, Tigers over Seattle, Tigers over Red Sox in 6

World Series: THE 100 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! Cubbies win it all over the Tigers in 7. World Series MVP: Kerry Wood with 3 saves and a win.

Thoughts? Go Cubs.

Friday, March 28, 2008

A Diamond in the Rough



The Washington Post has a fantastic look at the New Nationals Park here. It has fantastic panaromas, videos and HD pictures. Can't wait to spend the summer at this new gem.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Fantasy Baseball

Gentlemen,

The Milwaukee River is slowly thawing and once again it appears time for me to suggest that Flip do a bunch of work and set up fantasy baseball.

Though I may be much maligned for this, I suggest that we use a league where you only have to update your lineup once a week. While the everyday adjustments may prove who is the best manager, I think it just causes people to lose interest after a couple months (namely me...which accounts for my meteoric rise, and equally meteoric plummet last year). As usual, I suggest that Flip figure out a way to solve this problem. Either way, I'm in.

And Dave, if you can do some weekly in depth analysis (charts, graphs, sabermetic calculations) and post them on a weekly basis, that would be great. Frankly, I just don't have enough stuff to check when open up Firefox.

Oh, and I also suggest that we organize some sort of "Winter Meetings" in Pinehurst, where, in Don Corleone fashion, Moe must accept any trade proffered on his son's wedding day.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Bigamy

Unfortunately for Tribe fans everywhere, William and Mary's all Jewish Whitewash wasn't able to topple George Mason, but the situation raised an interesting question between Michael and myself.

If W&M won, they would have been about a 14 seed, and would have had a good chance of playing Xavier in the first round. I asked Hanley who he would be rooting for, mainly in jest, and his answer shocked me... he said Xavier without hesitation. When I looked at him like he had just committed adultery, he hesitated, but still said Xavier, so that raises a question.

In a world without divisions, would you root for your alma mater or the school you have rooted for your whole life?

Personally, I think anyone who answers their childhood team should have their diploma revoked, but then again not everyone went to a psycho-athletic, extreme school spirit school like Wabash. I am not saying you can't root for both teams, but if they play, I think you always have to root for your alma mater.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

I Have a Confession...

I really enjoy the Duke Blue Devils this year. I love their offensive approach- the way they are virtually interchangible on offense, the way they penetrate and kick for teammates, and the green light they have from Coach K to shoot 3's at any point in a possession.

I will be rooting for them this March.

There. I said it.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Farewell to Favre...

Seriously...

There were people crying in the streets this morning. I saw at least three of them.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Out With a Knee...



Two of my good friends from Duke donned the ole sweaty mascot suit and they both were involved in coming up with this very stunt five years ago. I don't think that I've ever heard Cameron as loud as it was when, for the first time ever, Mac as the Blue Devil traveled the length of the court to "Wipeout" and then jumped upon press row.

Looks like the new crop they recruited just doesn't measure up.

Perhaps Mac, if you are out there, can add some insight in the comments?

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Oregon Unveils the Honorary Solomon Wilcots Jerseys


Seriously? Someone has to stop Nike, and if that means terrorism, so be it. Black-on-black jerseys? You people are fucking insane.

Friday, February 22, 2008

In a Fogg?

All I'm saying is, get your Louisville Bats season tickets soon.

If you believe the Belisle hype and they acquired Josh Fogg to stabilize the rotation that means there is only one spot left for Bailey, Affeldt, Volquez, Cueto or Matt Maloney. For those Bruce Miller haters out there, that's 5 guys trying to squeeze into one spot. Will any one score against the Bats this season with that kind of rotation in Triple A?

But, riddle me this ye great minds of the Norwood House...How are any of these young guys going to see enough big league action to mature into a regular starter?

Why were they so precious as trade incentives, but not good enough to plug in to the rotation?

Enlighten me...

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

It has arrived...

Yeah, okay. I realize this isn't sports related, but who cares...

Sunday, February 17, 2008

This Made Me Happy in a Way Few Things Can...

A new study was released recently at a meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (still no cure for cancer) that ranked baseball players based on their fielding average and probability of making a play on a ball hit their way.

"[The] method involved looking at every ball put in play in major league baseball from 2002 through 2005 and recorded where the shots went. Researchers then developed a probability model for the average fielder in each position and compared that with the performance of individual players to see who was better or worse than average."

The best shortstop in MLB?

Alex Rodriguez.






And here's the stat that I love: Worst Shortstop in MLB?

Derek Jeter.






Shane Jensen, the Penn student/teacher/stat-nerd who led the study said, "[the information] suggests the Yankees have one of the best defensive shortstops playing out of position in deference to one of the worst defensive shortstops."

Sure this doesn't take into account intangibles like banging supermodels and Alyssa Milano and whatnot, but still.

And Tom Emmanski might want his endorsement money back. The worst first baseman?

Noooo! My childhood was a lie!




On a Reds note, we apparently got our money's worth with our newly locked-up second baseman Brandon Phillips, who ranked second overall at his position.

Also, on an semi-related topic, if you guys haven't read Jayson Stark's article on Dusty yet, I think it's pretty good. The video with Krivsky is boring and uninformative, but Dusty's got some things to say on videos at the Reds' official site.

In reference to something that was written in Stark's article, I also think this year's rallying cry should be "What's up, Big Daddy," which is way cooler and more indicative of the attitude of the team than the consummately queer "C you there" that currently dominates the web-page.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Children Wearing Shirts Made By Other Children.


From the NYPost:
Nicaraguan children from the community of San Gregorio, Diriamba, Nicaragua receive 2008 Super bowl apparel of the losing team, the New England Patriots, from World Vision organization.

The paper fails to mention that the shirts were likely sewn and stitched by Taiwanese children about a month ago.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Pants not only on fire, but bleeding, apparently.


Clemens testimony to Congrefs includes a series of questions about how, on a certain occasion, possibly more than once, people in his clubhouse noticed that his ass was bleeding through his uniform pants. To wit:

From the blog of the formerly mustachioed Jayson Stark:
11:41 a.m. ET
Curt Schilling had the bloody sock. Roger now has the bloody pants.

Rep. [Tom] Davis reported that McNamee had testified that Mike Stanton once noticed that Clemens was bleeding through his dress pants -- which caused him to start carrying band aids around, presumably for his bleeding butt. Yikes.

Prompting the following surreal exchange:

Davis: "Mr. Clemens, do you recall bleeding through your pants in 2001?"

Clemens: "I do not."
End Quote.

So the duly elected representative (Republican) of Virginia's 11th Congressional District —who will not be seeking re-election — spent this morning asking the Rocket if he remembered his ass bleeding seven years ago. At which point Clemens maintained that he didn't.

I have decided that Roger is the liar here. He has more to gain from lying than McNamee does, in my estimation, and more to lose if the truth is damning. Because at this point, if he falls on his sword, he only does it to try and reduce his perjury penalties, and really he's even gone past THAT point of no return.

Three points for discussion amongst the group:

1) After all this, and the possible fallout in which anything could happen to Clemens including jail time, will he still beat Pete Rose into the Hall of Fame? Will he get in there ever?

2) What tarnishes his legacy more, the fact that he took steroids, or the fact that he straight-up, bald-face, lied directly into a camera about it, then did so again under oath, AFTER he was caught?

3) Who benefits most from Clemens being hung out to dry?

My submissions:
1) I think at this point, he doesn't beat Pete in, cause he gets stuck on the outside with him for eternity.

2) I can forgive someone for cheating if they're at least somewhat remorseful once they get nailed, but I don't sense that from Rog (or from Pete Rose, frankly), and that just makes them seem like they think they're above the law. So to Hell with that.

3) I don't think anyone is as happy about these ridiculous proceedings as Barry Bonds. For the time being, at least.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Beta Club

I've said it before (in Mrs. Schmitz' 8th grade classroom after a Beta Club meeting).....

"Don't do Milford"

I just wish these boys would have had the same advice.

What a despicable act. I hope justice is served in this investigation.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

I'll File This Under "Not At All Surprising."


The New York Post apparently has video of Pedro Martinez and Juan Marichal gleefully participating in cockfights in the Dominican Republic, the most recent example of professional athletes love of 1) gambling, 2) animal cruelty, 3) getting caught participating in one or both of these things.

Also interesting, the article says: "The event shown in the video takes place in the Coliseo de Gallos - Rooster Coliseum - in Santo Domingo, the country's biggest cockfighting venue."

Is that like "Kitchen Stadium" on Iron Chef? Do they really need that? Apparently the bloodsport is so popular in the DR that the crowds were starting to overwhelm the previous largest cockfighting venue, known as "the cardboard box behind a strip bar."

The article also states that Martinez and Marichal pitted their trained fighting birds against one another (Marichal won, for those of you who are as grimly curious as I am).

It is legal there, so it's not like either of these guys are going to take any litigious flack for this, but my question is this: If guys like Pedro, Vick and Marichal are participating in this, definitely for gambling purposes, what's our estimate for the total number of players across all major sports and *shudder* NASCAR that push the envelope because of their crazy competitive desire?

We've watched steroids get out of hand because players are so crazy for competition that they'll even try and chemically alter the playing field within their sport, and I defintely think there's something to the "Jordan played baseball because he was secretly suspended" theory, I just want to know whether you guys think stuff like gambling and participating in the fighting and killing of [dogs, roosters, hookers in Jell-o, beta fish, etc.] is the exception or the rule?

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Retirement of a Legend

With the retirement of the General, 2 questions arise.

1st: Is Bobby Knight the Greatest College basketball coach of all time?
2nd: Do his transgressions tarnish his career/legacy?

1: I say no, but he is in the top 3. He won games with sub-par talent, and does more with less than anyone else. He graduates his players, has a clean program, and is respected by al his peers, even if they hate him. Hell, he made Texas Tech a solid program where nothing existed before.

2: Yes, but unfairly. He is from a different era, and a different background than todays coaches and players. Most of his major gripes are that he was too harsh on his players, but all but a handful love him, and speak highly of his intense loyalty and support. While I would never want to go Hunting with him, I would have loved to watch him coach.

Other than Huggins, I was exposed to Knight the most gorwing up, and going to school in Indianna, I grew to understand the psychotic loyalty his diehard fans had for him. Eventhough every kid in indianna could recite his famous rants by memory, they all loved him and dreamed of playing for Bobby Knight one day. And if you think the backlash of UC fans over the Huggins firing was intense, the backlash over the Knight firing was 10 times worse. And you do not get that without being a great coach.