Okay boys,
It's time. I gotta know what you're doing on Tuesday. Did you vote early? Are you planning on standing in line? Mikey, are you also registered under Miguel Hankley? Does Ginny know something the rest of us don't!!??
By my calculations, the Norwood House has pretty substantial pull in this election.
You've got Mikey, Phil, and me (voting absentee...thank you very much transient lifestyle) voting in Ohio. That's 20 electoral votes in a state that is still classified as a toss up in some polls.
Flip's vote in North Carolina could decide 15 electoral votes. Also a toss up state.
And Dave's vote could tip the scale in Virginia (which I think will be much closer than the 6.5 spread Real Clear Politics shows today)and it's 13 electoral votes.
Sorry Matt and Martin, your votes are worthless, unless Obama reveals that he's actually the estraned son of Dick Cheney and Ann Coulter...and even then...
That means that 47 Electoral Votes could swing one way or the other thanks to us!
Which also means we could effectively cancel out any single state (except California) and many other combinations of smaller states (e.g. GA-15, MO-11, ND-3, ID-4, WA-11, and-MT 3).
You don't have to include who you voted for unless you want to, but I'm just curious how this momentus event is impacting my closest frieds.
What is the atmosphere in your neck of the woods? Are you being swamped with commercials? Do you check the polls everyday?
I can tell you that I've never seen so many people with one mindset as I'm seeing up here in Chicagobamaland (or Barack-acago if you prefer). My office is about a five minute walk from where he (and an expected 1,000,000 supporters- seriously) will be on Tuesday night. We only get about one commercial every other day up here. LOTS of Obama wear all over the place. In fact, I've only seen one McCain yard sign, and that was about 25 miles north of downtown in the Indian Hill on steroids neighborhood of Glencoe.
No matter what happens, this has been FASCINATING! What are you seeing?
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Week 3: Phil's LPLOTW
Short and sweet this week:
5 games I like (but that I refuse to give lock status):
Friday- Boise State (-7) SAN JOSE STATE (much like the Duke corollary last week, I want to make San Jose St. prove they aren't your older brother's San Jose St.)
OHIO STATE (+2) Penn State (Ohio Stadium creates an exceptional atmosphere at night. Give me the much-talented home team and the points)
KANSAS (-1) Texas Tech (I like Tech in this game, but that's what Vegas wants. Therefore, I'm taking Rock Chalk. Sucker line? Check. Texas Tech looking ahead? Check. Road Game? Check.)
Cincinnati (-2.5) UCONN (I hate UC, but BK can coach. With Pike back, this looks like a nice UC win.)
MIAMI U (-5.5) Kent St. (This line is incredible. It opened at 8 and has moved 2.5 points already. It may settle around 4.5. by kick. Maybe a little (lot) heart pick, but Miami looked rejuvenated behind RFR QB Clay Belton last week. Look for special teams and the run game to lift Miami to a nice TD+ win in front of the Landes family on Homecoming.)
Now to the main event. This week's lock takes us to beautiful Toledo, OH for a MAC West battle.
Central Michigan (-4.5) TOLEDO
Toledo grabbed headlines a couple weeks ago with a huge win in the Big House. What the world hasn't seen is the rest of Toledo's year. Included is a drubbing at No. Illinois, a beatdown to Ball St. and an egg laid at home to Florida International. A very anemic offense will need to keep pace with a CMU attack that features MAC BMOC Dan LeFevour. I see CMU hanging at least 31 without Toledo having enough answers down the stretch. A spirited effort from the Rockets ultimately falls short to one of the finer MAC squads.
Predicted Score:
CMU 35 Toledo 27
Phil's LPLOTW to date:
2-0
5 games I like (but that I refuse to give lock status):
Friday- Boise State (-7) SAN JOSE STATE (much like the Duke corollary last week, I want to make San Jose St. prove they aren't your older brother's San Jose St.)
OHIO STATE (+2) Penn State (Ohio Stadium creates an exceptional atmosphere at night. Give me the much-talented home team and the points)
KANSAS (-1) Texas Tech (I like Tech in this game, but that's what Vegas wants. Therefore, I'm taking Rock Chalk. Sucker line? Check. Texas Tech looking ahead? Check. Road Game? Check.)
Cincinnati (-2.5) UCONN (I hate UC, but BK can coach. With Pike back, this looks like a nice UC win.)
MIAMI U (-5.5) Kent St. (This line is incredible. It opened at 8 and has moved 2.5 points already. It may settle around 4.5. by kick. Maybe a little (lot) heart pick, but Miami looked rejuvenated behind RFR QB Clay Belton last week. Look for special teams and the run game to lift Miami to a nice TD+ win in front of the Landes family on Homecoming.)
Now to the main event. This week's lock takes us to beautiful Toledo, OH for a MAC West battle.
Central Michigan (-4.5) TOLEDO
Toledo grabbed headlines a couple weeks ago with a huge win in the Big House. What the world hasn't seen is the rest of Toledo's year. Included is a drubbing at No. Illinois, a beatdown to Ball St. and an egg laid at home to Florida International. A very anemic offense will need to keep pace with a CMU attack that features MAC BMOC Dan LeFevour. I see CMU hanging at least 31 without Toledo having enough answers down the stretch. A spirited effort from the Rockets ultimately falls short to one of the finer MAC squads.
Predicted Score:
CMU 35 Toledo 27
Phil's LPLOTW to date:
2-0
Friday, October 17, 2008
Week 2: Phil's LPLOTW
Sorry for the late entry this week, but I've had to spend some extra time going over the lines. As most people know, sometimes there are games that jump off the page. Unfortunately, this was not one of those weeks. Rest easy degenerates, I've still found a game I really like. Before I mention that, I want to highlight some runners-up (some call this hedging my bets, I call it making you more money).
Games I like:
Miami U at BOWLING GREEN: Under 51 - MIA. Miami's abbreviation on television and also an apt description of the RedHawks offense this year.
U Miami -3 DUKE - This is one of those games where you make Duke prove they aren't Duke anymore.
BUFFALO -11.5 Army - The Bulls are pretty good and Army is pretty dreadful.
Pittsburgh (-9.5) CINCINNATI - This feels like a sucker bet, but there's no way I could rationalize betting on a Ryan Fitzpatrick led team against Pitt
Minnesota (+3) CHICAGO -This feels like an AP day and Chicago is coming off a demoralizing loss
Enough with the undercards already. This week's lock takes us to beautiful East Lansing, MI.
Ohio St. (-3) MICHIGAN ST
The Spartans get the proud honor of switching sides in my lock of the week. Rest assured, MSU will be amped, the home crowd will be electric, and this game will be a slug fest. However, the better defense, the better run game, and the better coaching staff reside on the Buckeye sidelines. In an old fashioned (and somewhat antiquated) Big 10 battle of 3 yards and a cloud of dust, I like OSU's combo of Pryor and Wells to make enough plays to get past the human bowling ball (Javon Ringer). Let us not forget in the wake of OSU's humiliation in LA-LA land just how much talent the Buck Nuts have. This is a team that is dominant in conference, has two true difference makers on offense, a solid coach (in Big 10 games at least) and a defense littered with first day draft picks. While my heart is always anti-Buckeye, my head is very pro-Buckeye this weekend.
Predicted Score:
Ohio State 28 Michigan St. 17
Phil's LPLOTW to date:
1-0
Games I like:
Miami U at BOWLING GREEN: Under 51 - MIA. Miami's abbreviation on television and also an apt description of the RedHawks offense this year.
U Miami -3 DUKE - This is one of those games where you make Duke prove they aren't Duke anymore.
BUFFALO -11.5 Army - The Bulls are pretty good and Army is pretty dreadful.
Pittsburgh (-9.5) CINCINNATI - This feels like a sucker bet, but there's no way I could rationalize betting on a Ryan Fitzpatrick led team against Pitt
Minnesota (+3) CHICAGO -This feels like an AP day and Chicago is coming off a demoralizing loss
Enough with the undercards already. This week's lock takes us to beautiful East Lansing, MI.
Ohio St. (-3) MICHIGAN ST
The Spartans get the proud honor of switching sides in my lock of the week. Rest assured, MSU will be amped, the home crowd will be electric, and this game will be a slug fest. However, the better defense, the better run game, and the better coaching staff reside on the Buckeye sidelines. In an old fashioned (and somewhat antiquated) Big 10 battle of 3 yards and a cloud of dust, I like OSU's combo of Pryor and Wells to make enough plays to get past the human bowling ball (Javon Ringer). Let us not forget in the wake of OSU's humiliation in LA-LA land just how much talent the Buck Nuts have. This is a team that is dominant in conference, has two true difference makers on offense, a solid coach (in Big 10 games at least) and a defense littered with first day draft picks. While my heart is always anti-Buckeye, my head is very pro-Buckeye this weekend.
Predicted Score:
Ohio State 28 Michigan St. 17
Phil's LPLOTW to date:
1-0
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
True. Good point...
Found this at the bottom of Bill Simmon's mail bag:
Q: Shouldn't Elizabeth Perkins have faced statutory rape charges in "Big"?
-- Chuck D., Clifton Park, N.Y.
SG: Absolutely. The rules are explicit here -- if you have consensual sexual relations with anyone not legally old enough to consent to such behavior, it's statutory rape regardless of whether they turned themselves into an adult by making a wish to a Zoltar machine. Perkins' character worked with Josh Baskin (the Tom Hanks character) in New York City when the age of consent was 15 years old. Well, Baskin was only 13 at the time. So there you go.
Q: Shouldn't Elizabeth Perkins have faced statutory rape charges in "Big"?
-- Chuck D., Clifton Park, N.Y.
SG: Absolutely. The rules are explicit here -- if you have consensual sexual relations with anyone not legally old enough to consent to such behavior, it's statutory rape regardless of whether they turned themselves into an adult by making a wish to a Zoltar machine. Perkins' character worked with Josh Baskin (the Tom Hanks character) in New York City when the age of consent was 15 years old. Well, Baskin was only 13 at the time. So there you go.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Speaking of —
As has been stated by both myself and my contemporary E-on, politics has no place inside the Norwood House. But this one was too good to pass up. The man who precipitated the shot clock has made an endorsement. Dean Smith!
Appropriate, since Obama's trying to play a little four corners himself right now.
Possibly the biggest M.O.E. of all time...
Check out what was written in the Op-Ed section of the NY Times this morning. I apoligize for the politics of it (as the Norwood House has no specific political adjenda), but it was too good to pass up.
This one is for you Magister (who is probably watching "First Knight" somewhere at this very moment):
"In high school, I translated swatches of Julius Caesar’s “The Battle for Gaul” from Latin to English while nibbling cheese crackers. To boost the felicitous new trend toward Latin, I enlisted Gary D. Farney, an associate professor of history at Rutgers University, to translate (loosely and creatively) from English to Latin “The Battle of Gall,” my take below on why the hyperventilating Republicans are not veni, vidi, vici-ing.
___________________________________________________
Bellum Gallium
Manes Julii Caesaris paucis diebus aderant — “O, most bloody sight!” — cum Ioannes McCainus, mavericus et veteranus captivusque Belli Francoindosinini, et Sara Palina, barracuda borealis, qui sneerare amant Baracum Obamam causa oratorii, pillorant ut demagogi veri, Africanum-Americanum senatorem Terrae Lincolni, ad Republicanas rallias.
Rabidi subcanes candidati, pretendant “no orator as Brutis is,” ut “stir men’s blood” et disturbant mentes populi ad “a sudden flood of mutiny,” ut Wilhelmus Shakespearus scripsit.
Cum Quirites Americani ad rallias Republicanas audiunt nomen Baraci Husseini Obamae, clamant “Mortem!” “Amator terroris!” “Socialiste!” “Bomba Obamam!” “Obama est Arabus!” “Caput excidi!” tempus sit rabble-rouseribus desistere “Smear Talk Express,” ut Stephanus Colbertus dixit. Obama demonatus est tamquam Musulmanus-Manchurianus candidatus — civis “collo-cerviciliaris” ad ralliam Floridianam Palinae exhabet mascum Obamae ut Luciferis.
Obama non queretur high-tech lynching. Sed secreto-serventes agentes nervosissmi sunt.
Vix quisque audivit nomen “Palinae” ante lunibus paucis. Surgivit ex suo tanning bed ad silvas in Terram Eskimorum, rogans quis sit traitorosus, ominosus, scurrilosus, periculosus amator LXs terroris criminalisque Chicagoani? Tu betchus!
“Caeca ambitio Obamana,” novum rumorem Palina McCainusque dixit. “Cum utilis, Obama laborat cum amatore terroris Wilhelmo Ayro. Cum putatus, perjuravit.” McCainianus bossus maximus Francus Keatinx vocat Obamam, “plebeium,” et ut iuvenum snifferendum cocaini minimi (“a little blow.”)
Cum Primus Dudus, spousus Palinanus, culpari attemptaret “Centurionem-Gate,” judices Terrae Santae Elvorumque castigat gubernatricem Palinam de abusu auctoritatis per familiam revengendum.
Tamen Sara et Ioannes bury Obama, not praise him. Maverici, ut capiunt auxilium de friga-domina, hench-femina, Cynthia McCaina Birrabaronessa, (quae culpat Obamam periculandi suum filum in Babylonia), brazen-iter distractant mentes populares de minimissimis IV 0 I K.ibus, deminutione “Motorum Omnium,” et Depressione Magna II.0. Omnes de Georgio Busio Secundo colossale goofballo. “V” (because there’s no W. in Latin) etiam duxit per disastrum ad gymnasium.
Gubernatrix (prope Russia) Palina, spectans candidaciam MMXII, post multam educationem cum Kissingro et post multam parodiam de Sabbatis Nocte Vivo atque de Tina Feia, ferociter vituperat Obamam, ut supralupocidit (aerial shooting of wolves) in Hyperborea.
Vilmingtoni, in Ohionem, McCain’s Mean Girl (Ferox Puella) defendit se gladiatricem politicam esse: “Pauci dicant, O Jupiter, te negativam esse. Non, negativa non sum, sed verissima.” Talk about lipsticka in porcam! Quasi Leeus Atwater de oppugnatione Busii Primi ad Dukakem: “non negativus, sed comparativus.”
_________________________________________________________________
Where is Don Norvell when you really need him?
This one is for you Magister (who is probably watching "First Knight" somewhere at this very moment):
"In high school, I translated swatches of Julius Caesar’s “The Battle for Gaul” from Latin to English while nibbling cheese crackers. To boost the felicitous new trend toward Latin, I enlisted Gary D. Farney, an associate professor of history at Rutgers University, to translate (loosely and creatively) from English to Latin “The Battle of Gall,” my take below on why the hyperventilating Republicans are not veni, vidi, vici-ing.
___________________________________________________
Bellum Gallium
Manes Julii Caesaris paucis diebus aderant — “O, most bloody sight!” — cum Ioannes McCainus, mavericus et veteranus captivusque Belli Francoindosinini, et Sara Palina, barracuda borealis, qui sneerare amant Baracum Obamam causa oratorii, pillorant ut demagogi veri, Africanum-Americanum senatorem Terrae Lincolni, ad Republicanas rallias.
Rabidi subcanes candidati, pretendant “no orator as Brutis is,” ut “stir men’s blood” et disturbant mentes populi ad “a sudden flood of mutiny,” ut Wilhelmus Shakespearus scripsit.
Cum Quirites Americani ad rallias Republicanas audiunt nomen Baraci Husseini Obamae, clamant “Mortem!” “Amator terroris!” “Socialiste!” “Bomba Obamam!” “Obama est Arabus!” “Caput excidi!” tempus sit rabble-rouseribus desistere “Smear Talk Express,” ut Stephanus Colbertus dixit. Obama demonatus est tamquam Musulmanus-Manchurianus candidatus — civis “collo-cerviciliaris” ad ralliam Floridianam Palinae exhabet mascum Obamae ut Luciferis.
Obama non queretur high-tech lynching. Sed secreto-serventes agentes nervosissmi sunt.
Vix quisque audivit nomen “Palinae” ante lunibus paucis. Surgivit ex suo tanning bed ad silvas in Terram Eskimorum, rogans quis sit traitorosus, ominosus, scurrilosus, periculosus amator LXs terroris criminalisque Chicagoani? Tu betchus!
“Caeca ambitio Obamana,” novum rumorem Palina McCainusque dixit. “Cum utilis, Obama laborat cum amatore terroris Wilhelmo Ayro. Cum putatus, perjuravit.” McCainianus bossus maximus Francus Keatinx vocat Obamam, “plebeium,” et ut iuvenum snifferendum cocaini minimi (“a little blow.”)
Cum Primus Dudus, spousus Palinanus, culpari attemptaret “Centurionem-Gate,” judices Terrae Santae Elvorumque castigat gubernatricem Palinam de abusu auctoritatis per familiam revengendum.
Tamen Sara et Ioannes bury Obama, not praise him. Maverici, ut capiunt auxilium de friga-domina, hench-femina, Cynthia McCaina Birrabaronessa, (quae culpat Obamam periculandi suum filum in Babylonia), brazen-iter distractant mentes populares de minimissimis IV 0 I K.ibus, deminutione “Motorum Omnium,” et Depressione Magna II.0. Omnes de Georgio Busio Secundo colossale goofballo. “V” (because there’s no W. in Latin) etiam duxit per disastrum ad gymnasium.
Gubernatrix (prope Russia) Palina, spectans candidaciam MMXII, post multam educationem cum Kissingro et post multam parodiam de Sabbatis Nocte Vivo atque de Tina Feia, ferociter vituperat Obamam, ut supralupocidit (aerial shooting of wolves) in Hyperborea.
Vilmingtoni, in Ohionem, McCain’s Mean Girl (Ferox Puella) defendit se gladiatricem politicam esse: “Pauci dicant, O Jupiter, te negativam esse. Non, negativa non sum, sed verissima.” Talk about lipsticka in porcam! Quasi Leeus Atwater de oppugnatione Busii Primi ad Dukakem: “non negativus, sed comparativus.”
_________________________________________________________________
Where is Don Norvell when you really need him?
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Sad State of Affairs
What happened to us?
Where did we lose our way?
At what point in our lives did we abandon our principles?
When did we turn from being pure sports fans to needing something more?
I am talking about our fantasy sports leagues. They have become an embarrassment. I am almost ashamed to be the commish. This is the 3rd week in a row that I have played someone with at least 1 player on a bye or injured in the starting lineup. Hopefully I will make it my 3rd winning week to bring my overall record to 3-3, but I feel dirty, unsatisfied, dejected. Why? My fantasy football team is, in the words of Charles Barkley, terrible; and I am in the hunt for the payoffs instead of being woefully in the basement like our beloved Bungles. Everyone should be making fun of Hampton and me for drafting one of the worst fantasy teams in recent memories, but do any of us even know?
Our Fantasy Baseball season was a joke. Dave and I tied for 1st place (somehow they gave the championship to Dave even though I held all the tiebreakers) but I bet he doesn't even know. Because if he did he wouldn't have started Todd Jones during the playoffs since he was on the DL. Even worse, Chris Martin got 3rd narrowly beating Hanley, and they had a combined 3 people on the DL in their starting lineups and Hanley had an empty position for the last 10 weeks of the season.
We used to be about the thrill of the competition
We used to take satisfaction in crushing players like Moe and Tyler Martin since they knew lesss than us (Moe's Tavern is #1, no offense Dad)
We used to have multiple trades every week.
We used to nearly get into fights over the bad trades offered and accepted
we used to hold winter meetings,
we used to hold amazing contempt for people like the Cougars
We used to change our names weekly
we used to care,
we used to be men.
So I implore you, men of TNH, before our once proud Fantasy Football heritage goes the way of our fantasy baseball league we must regain our enthusiasm, our competitiveness, our manhood.
Men we must regain ourselves.
Where did we lose our way?
At what point in our lives did we abandon our principles?
When did we turn from being pure sports fans to needing something more?
I am talking about our fantasy sports leagues. They have become an embarrassment. I am almost ashamed to be the commish. This is the 3rd week in a row that I have played someone with at least 1 player on a bye or injured in the starting lineup. Hopefully I will make it my 3rd winning week to bring my overall record to 3-3, but I feel dirty, unsatisfied, dejected. Why? My fantasy football team is, in the words of Charles Barkley, terrible; and I am in the hunt for the payoffs instead of being woefully in the basement like our beloved Bungles. Everyone should be making fun of Hampton and me for drafting one of the worst fantasy teams in recent memories, but do any of us even know?
Our Fantasy Baseball season was a joke. Dave and I tied for 1st place (somehow they gave the championship to Dave even though I held all the tiebreakers) but I bet he doesn't even know. Because if he did he wouldn't have started Todd Jones during the playoffs since he was on the DL. Even worse, Chris Martin got 3rd narrowly beating Hanley, and they had a combined 3 people on the DL in their starting lineups and Hanley had an empty position for the last 10 weeks of the season.
We used to be about the thrill of the competition
We used to take satisfaction in crushing players like Moe and Tyler Martin since they knew lesss than us (Moe's Tavern is #1, no offense Dad)
We used to have multiple trades every week.
We used to nearly get into fights over the bad trades offered and accepted
we used to hold winter meetings,
we used to hold amazing contempt for people like the Cougars
We used to change our names weekly
we used to care,
we used to be men.
So I implore you, men of TNH, before our once proud Fantasy Football heritage goes the way of our fantasy baseball league we must regain our enthusiasm, our competitiveness, our manhood.
Men we must regain ourselves.
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