The Four Reasons I'm excited for this blog.

1. Blogs are the new best way to get fired.
Take a gander at this story and the actual blog that accompanies it. That there pretty young thing is gonna be a writer some day, and getting fired from her job because of shit-talking her boss probably just helped. She's got a book she wants to publish. Adorable, right? Let me guess. Kitten mystery? It involves unicorns in some way? I hate you. And stop posting coded messages in Gaelic or Farsi or whatever to your baby-daddy stationed overseas. Not cute.

2. I've been reading a lot of books lately, and they don't have that much embedded video.
Observe.


2a* For bonus laughs, be sure to watch the video of Christian "The Nigerian Nightmare" Okoye breaking no less than 175 tackles on his way into the end zone.

3. My daily conversations now are pretty much free of references to Quatman's.
Like when I scratch my name into the window of the subway with my keys, no one comes along and adds "Remember that time you made Ian pay for your burger [and were justified in doing so]?"

4. My life is empty.
That one's more sad than funny. Also I work nights.