You should probably just take the day off...

Gentlemen,

I believe today is a day for celebration. We stand at the brink of history, and from this day move forward as a vanguard into a time uncharted in the annals of the human experience. Never before have we found ourselves staring straight into the gaping maw of novelty as we are at this moment. Precedent, you have no place here.

Mark "Moe" Anderson is the sole owner of first place in Fantasy Football.

Let it ring from the hilltops. From Mt. Carmel to Mt. Airy. From Mt. Adams to Mt. Healthy.

All Hail Moe's Tavern and the Moester Coaster. King of the world...at least for a week.

Reds or Bengals, Who ya Got?

I recently read this article by Rick Reilly and found it fascinating. The premise is if every multiple sport city had to choose only one team to stay, who would they pick. Some are obvious like Hockey for Detroit and the Yankees for NYC. Some are controversial like the Bears for Chicago, sorry Mike, or the Ravens in Baltimore. But all in all it is a good read and is interesting to think about.

However he does not list Cincinnati.

So I put it to the great minds of TNH, what team stays in Cincy, the Reds or the Bengals?

I think he's my muse.

I'd just like to use this space to announce that my first non-fiction novel (a term coined by Truman Capote) will be about the life and times of one Edward Hochuli.

He's the most interesting man in the world those Mexican Beer commercials are talking about.

Lawyer, who works out religiously, listens to crazy ass techno music, and is a football referee who tragically fucked up a call in a basically meaningless game (assuming the division doesn't come down to one game) and is so tortured about it that he's ANSWERING ALL OF THE HATE MAIL HE RECEIVED! With personal apologies!

It's going to be like "In Cold Blood" except I will take longer to kill myself with alcoholism.

*photo courtesy of the Onion short "Ed Hochuli First Down Signal Decapitates Player."

No, David Oden...I will not be your Facebook friend

That's it...just wanted to everyone know.

Too soon?

Boys,

Just wanted to be "Badanian" and develop a little nice conversation on here. As you know, my IRISH beat the hapless Wolverines today convincingly. 6 turnovers and playing in the remnants of Hurricane Ike made it easier for the Irish to gain a lead and keep it, but they did win big.

So the question is posed...was this week a bad Michigan team or have the Irish turned the corner on last years 3 win campaign? Clausen looks good, they have speed at WR, a nice combo in the backfield and the OL is much improved. The defense is like the Bengals of '05...bend, don't break, and very opportunistic.

Special Teams: Mike Anello. Dav, you can do the story on him.

thoughts?

Go Irish.

Chad 1, NFL 0.

So, according to some published reports, 85 is now Chad Ocho Cinco, nee Johnson.

According to Miami radio station 790 The Ticket, which is in Johnson's hometown, the receiver has legally changed his last name to "Ocho Cinco." Johnson's -- sorry -- Ocho Cinco's reported name change has been rumored in NFL circles for weeks, and according to the station today, it's official.

Personally, his antics have grown stale if he can't hold onto the ball on a downfield pass, but I still think this is hilarious.
I just can't wait to see how the broadcasters deal with this. It won't be fall to me until I hear Phil Simms or Greg Gumbel say "Ocho Cinco gets both feet down in the corner of the endzone!"

So, it won't be fall this year until mid-November, probably.

UPDATE: Here's a link to Chad's new Wikipedia page. Brilliant

He Got Game?

Ok, let's take a minute and break down these poses.

On the left, naturally, we have Sen. Barack Obama, of Illinois, an avowed South-Sider and Bears fan (apparently) who seems to have a better grip on the ball than either of his team's potential starting quarterbacks. However, I'd be willing to bet Orton's got him when it comes to Neck-Beard ability, and Grossman is probably a bigger douche.
Ball's got no laces, though, so it's probably a tough spiral.

Now let's look to the right side of the page.

Senator, it's a football, not an urn with your mother in it. Who in the campaign was unwilling to tell this guy to drop a shoulder like he did in the backyard? Seriously, the man looks like he's presenting that thing for a Showcase Showdown on the Price Is Right.

As I'm sure you're all aware, I was really waffling on my choice this election, but now my choice is clear. That is all.